Accept the Truth about Yourself

You must drill down to the core of your heart to find the real truth about you as a person. The real truth is always much better than your truth about you. Generally, the way others see you is much better than the way you see yourself. Change your self-paradigm and accept the truth about yourself-that is how you will begin to grow and achieve differently. As your belief in yourself increases, so does your ability to accomplish anything your heart desires. Your life will become much richer.

ASK YOURSELF THIS

Does it matter how others perceive me? Will their view of me affect my life? Will the way others see me affect my income? Will the way I am viewed by others affect my social life ? Will others' view of me affect my marriage and my children? How does the way people perceive me affect my confidence and happiness?

How others perceive you and how you perceive yourself are critical to your success and achievement. How you act, talk, walk, dress, and present yourself have a direct affect on all aspects of your life. Self-image can have a major influence on such things as finding a spouse, earning an impressive income, getting involved with life, and getting the maximum out of it.

OUTWARD APPEARANCE

Your outward impression can also determine the level of your success. Studies by sociologists have tried to determine which is more significant-image or skill. They sent fifteen actors and fifteen skilled professionals to apply for the same job. The actors knew little or nothing about the duties required for the job-they just faked it. More often than not, the actor-not the qualified professionals-received the job offer. Actors are excellent at making good impressions. They know all about posture, body language, dressing for success, inflection in language, and facial expression.

When I ask people what they think it means to acquire a good self-image in the physical area of their lives, I usually hear "get in shape," "lose weight," or "lift weights." Occasionally I hear that they want to learn self- defense or buy new clothes.

Your physical image is very important, and it means much more than just getting into shape, losing weight, or doing exercises. It also involves appearance, clothing, color, posture, and style.

When I was just starting in business, I was struggling financially. I had learned about the significance of a proper appearance, and I always wore a nice suit when meeting a potential client. Once a potential client told me, "You're obviously successful, and that gives me a lot of comfort in doing business with you." When I asked her why she felt that way, she said, "Well, you look successful. You have a great office, you sound confident, so I assume that you are."

If your personal appearance is a turnoff, it will never matter if you have talent or ability. The way you package yourself has as much-or more-to do with your success as all your talents and gifts. People rarely bother to open an unattractive package, even if the contents are valuable. Because poor appearance is a turnoff, people are likely to seek a more attractive package and take their chances.

Your great ability can be obscured by your personal appearance; it may never be recognized-or tested-if your appearance is an indication of mediocrity and nonprofessionalism. Of course, ability and performance usually determine whether you keep a client or job, but appearance may well determine whether you win the client or job in the first place.

Thousands of people have a self-imposed handicap because they don't present a sharp personal appearance. It's true, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. An appropriate outward appearance can dramatically affect both you and those you come in contact with.

Do you know what the best hairstyle is for you? Do you wear too much makeup? How is your posture? Did you know that rounded shoulders are often seen as a sign of lack of self-esteem-sending the message that you are undisciplined, lazy, or don't care about yourself? Should you smile more? Could you eat or sleep better? How do you deal with pain? Do you chew your fingernails, swear, or have an addiction to TV, sex, caffeine, tobacco, alcohol, or drugs?

I once spoke to a woman about discovering her Core Desires. When we spoke of her self-image, she said she only had two desires: to lose fifteen pounds and to learn some self- defense. Since she didn't mention it, I thought I would bring up-as diplomatically as possible-the gap between her top front teeth. The gap was such a sensitive issue for her that she burst into tears. Repairing that space was a Core Desire that she had ignored for years because she didn't have the money to repair it. Once she identified how intense this Core Desire was, her Conquering Force kicked in, and within three months she had cosmetic dentistry. She no longer hid her beautiful smile with her hand, and it did wonders for her self-confidence in social situations.

If it is truly a Core Desire, you'll find a way. If there's anything about your physical self that you don't like, you can change it-or at least your attitude about it. Don't limit your thinking when it comes to discovering your Core Desires in the physical areas of your life. Would you like to learn to ski? Fly an airplane? Paint pictures? Play the piano? Sing songs? Do you want to relax more, play more, and reduce frustrations and stress? Stress can ruin your health and take away the energy you need to achieve your Core Desires. Learn how to laugh and have fun again.

Would you like to fall asleep easily and sleep more soundly? Do you need to get your body into shape through exercise? How are your diet and nutrition? If you tire easily, feel poorly, or don't have much energy, you can't accomplish the many things that you are required to do, let alone the things you really want to do.

Do you control your tongue? Are you courteous and considerate? How are your manners? Do you open doors for people, let cars go in front of yours, show deference to elders, and speak courteously to everyone no matter what their station in life? Do you use clean language? Do you say nice things to and about others?